Do you want to know the quickest way to derail yourself from joy?

Compare your trajectory of success to someone else’s. Boom – joy annihilation in an instant.

This past weekend, I broke my own cardinal rule and compared myself to a few people I know who were “achieving” a lot right now. Immediately that not “doing”, “achieving”, “succeeding” enough voice started piping up. Then the voice of reason replied: “stay on your own track”.

I use the term derail because we are all like trains moving toward the desired destination, however, we all have different routes to get there, we encounter different challenges, we are built differently but, most importantly, our destinations are not the same.

What one person may consider success will not be exactly the same as another. How can we compare our journey when we have different destinations?

My husband reminded me, as we discussed this topic at length, that what I used to consider success in the past is not what I consider success now. It is when we get caught up in other people’s (or our own, outdated) definition of success and don’t stay on our own tracks that things get blurred.

Know your destination, know what success looks, and feels like for you. Yes, it may change but the clearer you are on what it looks like the better you’ll stay on track.

The only person to compare yourself to is yourself. Backtrack to where you were 6 months or a year ago and measure your performance (or how you feel) against your own yardstick of success. Meet yourself where you are at, not where anyone else is at.

The one thing that many of us forget when we fall into the comparison trap, is that we only compare ourselves to those who are peaking at what they do. We are all living through a cycle that troughs, peaks and plateaus in life and nothing is permanent.

Four lessons to stay on the joy train:

• Stay on your own tracks
• Compare yourself to yourself
• Be clear on your own definition of success and know that that looks like
• Appreciate we are all moving through different cycles that aren’t permanent

Below is a little reminder I shared on Instagram this week….

You have been through a life-changing event in time
It will be written into history forever
Some will want to rush back to normality
Others will want to hold on to the precious learnings
Take your time to reintegrate
The faster you enter normality the more quickly you will forget
Don’t rush and miss the valuable teachings
Even if it was uncomfortable there are lessons to ponder
Reentering normality slowly means setting boundaries
Setting boundaries means asserting your self-worth
Asserting your self-worth means valuing your own needs
Make this transition intentional – reflect and commit to a new way
The future is yours to write however you choose
Unfurl at your own pace

Did you know that you don’t have to do this on your own?

In this uncertain time, it can be challenging to navigate the range of thoughts and feelings that arise. Whether you are struggling with your mindset or feeling like this is the time for you to pivot into a new chapter of life I am here to support you.

I am offering a FREE 30-minute private introductory coaching session (online – this is how I always coach) so I can support you to move forward with greater clarity and accountability. 

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