blog personal growth

How to Feel Like You are Enough

May 13, 2019
How to Feel Like You are Enough

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be enough, to have enough, to do enough and to feel enough.

The most common core feeling that comes up with the amazing and talented people I work with is not “enoughness”.

  • Not smart enough
  • Not good enough
  • Not successful enough
  • Not loved enough
  • Not funny enough
  • Not attractive enough
  • Not young enough
  • Not doing enough
  • Not achieving enough

and the list goes on..

Can you resonate with any of these? I definitely can.

If this doesn’t resonate maybe ask yourself – what do I need to feel, be, do or have to be enough in this world?

If the answer is nothing then you know your enoughness is just being you (gold star). If like most of us you have a list of things that would make you enough, then read on.

So much of our judgment about our own success or failure is based on what we consider to be enough. When we don’t feel enough of something we can lose our confidence, feel unworthy, and our inner critic starts to turn up the volume.

Enough is like a piece of art: it is completely in the eye of the beholder.

What might look like a superwoman achievement in productivity to one person might feel like not achieving much to another.

One person might be showered in love but can’t feel it because of a childhood belief about not being loved enough.

Another person might be put on a career pedestal for being a huge success but deep down not feel good enough.

Much of our “not enoughness” is created by the beliefs we form as children; most of them lie in our subconscious and we are not even aware of them. Our beliefs about not being enough form our program and the brain then seek events or experiences to prove the program right (i.e. “see, I knew I wasn’t good enough”).

Here are some of the consequences of feeling not enough:

• Constantly ‘doing’ because we are not enough just being
• Never feeling satisfied with what has been achieved
• Not stepping up and showing up in our business and personal life
• Choosing unsuitable partners because of need to compromise our enoughness
• Focusing on material possessions and consumerism to feel enough
• Addiction – finding ways to sedate and numb our not enoughness
• Constantly stressed because you feel you haven’t done enough
• Anxiety caused by not feeling good enough or things not being perfect
• Comparison and judgment of self and others

When we are living with not enoughness we are living in a scarcity mindset, one of lack and limitation.

When we live in a lack mindset this is what we project into the world, and this is what is mirrored back into our life. This is particularly important when looking at money, love, and success.

How To Recognise Your Worth and Feel ‘Enough’:

1. Be Mindful

The first step is just to notice and be aware of when you don’t feel enough
(it might show up as anxiety, judgment on yourself or others, anger, sadness, stress, overcontrolling behaviour or lack of confidence – there are many different forms).
Ask yourself – what do I not feel enough of in this moment?

Notice how it feels in your body; what it is that you say to yourself; what are the common situations that it happens? Allow yourself to be the observer of these feelings and emotions rather than the judge of them – this is what we call being mindful.

2. Go back to old beliefs

Allow yourself to tap into old memories or feelings that trigger similar beliefs that are showing up in your life now. Remember, our beliefs and memories are largely stored in the subconscious mind from childhood – for the most part we are not aware that this is a program we are running.
For example:
You are not feeling smart enough in your work, so often don’t speak up. You remember as a child failing a test and feeling very embarrassed, or you have run a story all your life that you weren’t smart enough for an event that happened when you were a child.

I recommend working with a trained coach in this area or do a mind detox therapy session to upgrade your beliefs

3. Upgrade your Story

Once you are aware of what your not enoughness feels and looks like (this in itself is profound) and you have some understanding on how this belief might have been formed, you’re ready to start training the conscious mind to create a new pathway. What I like to call an “enoughness pathway”.

To do this create affirmations that turn your scarcity on its head.
For example:

“I don’t have enough money” becomes “I live an abundant life where money flows to me”.
“I’m not good enough” becomes “I am capable, intelligent and step into my potential every day”.

Yes, this exercise will feel incredibly awkward at first, but this is because you are retraining a well-ingrained default neural pathway.

Write these affirmations into a journal; stick them on your wall; say them as often as you can. Over time they will become your default program.

And to close….

No one else can tell you that you are enough (good enough, successful enough, attractive enough, loved enough) although it is good to hang out with people who do. The only person who can make you feel enough is YOU.

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